This life os not easy sometimes

        Today I went to a nice man's house that I work for. I am a companion for an elderly man. He has slight dementia, like repeating a story over and over again or being forgetful but he pretty much can take care of himself. But today when I went over and fixed him lunch he went into the garage and started complaining about a little girl in there, so I went to take a look (just in case) but I could not find a little girl so I knew he was becoming delusional. I called his daughters and they called an ambulance. So I hope he'll be okay, he does not take his meds regularly and this is what happens, though he never has hallucinated before.

   So I keep thinking about starting to sell on line again. And thinking and thinking and thinking.....

Updating my life story

    This is not just an art blog for me, it's a journal of my journey (how poetic).  I need to get this blog a little updated to my circumstances. I was living in a lovely area in Ormond Beach FL. with my boyfriend of 15 years. He had a lot of faith in me as an artist and would supply me with whatever I needed in order to start earning a living making art. I am thankful to him for all that time to work without having to worry about money until I started to make my own. I had fits and starts with selling my art, at times thinking I was on my way to a pretty steady income only to start having insecurities about my abilities. That is a common theme throughout my life, insecurity. I have had countless opportunities given to me in many areas only to shy away and sabotage myself. This was a bit upsetting to my boyfriend who had money but not nearly as much as he had in the past and so grew uneasy about our finances. He had sold his business back in the 90's for a tidy sum but has since lost a good deal of the money from projects that fell through, people's dreams who he invested in (other then me) and were to pay him back (that never did) and just some investment mistakes. I tried to get him to buy some enchanted dolls in the beginning when they were priced much lower than they are right now because I knew they'd become very valuable. But he insisted he'd make money HIS WAY and declined to buy. I guess he may have thought I wanted them all for myself (which I did) but I also understood them to be an investment and one day would have too be sold (except my own personal girls).

  He was 12 years older than I. And always told me he'd make sure I was taken care of if something happened to him. And so after this whole Covid scare, right when we were to go to Europe (April 2022) he was found to have an extremely bad type of brain tumor. His cousin was a big shot in the immunotherapy type drugs for cancer and contacted us about something that might work to save him, but it did not. So on January 3rd 2022 at 5:55 in the morning he passed away.

Today is the First Day of the rest of your Life!

    

                                      This is a little lady I made with polymer. I later put a love letter in her hands.

I have been very inactive for quite some time and have questioned if there is something wrong with me. I watch the profusion of artist being so productive, "doing drops"and selling out they're pieces in record time. The internet has made it a golden and fruitful time for artists. For those who don't know what a drop is, it's when an artist or craftsperson (is there a difference?) makes a lot of art pieces and shows everyone her/his progress with pictures on social media like instagram. Everyone gets to ooooo and ahhhhh at each step they display, and decide if they might like to have this or that particular piece, sometimes downright staking a claim on it or better yet exclaiming that they "must have it!". The artist informs everyone that the art will all be released on a certain day at a certain time and in which time zone. Whoa to those who get that wrong! Going to the online store of a favorite artist and finding that the event is all over with and the cubbard is bare can be a devastating if not a heart breaking experience. Collectors and fans of the artist nervously wait for the very second they can get in there and buy their particular favorite item and things go fast. 

ANYWAY!

   Every time I start to write on this blog I seem to feel it's a new day for me, at least I hope so. So here I am yet again, so we shall see. I am into so many projects I can't quite make up my mind. I finish very little or I become impatient with my progress so I then get careless and messy. I started seeing a therapist because I feel I have some kind of weird block, but I needed to see a therapist anyway because of the last few years with covid, cleaning out my home so it could be sold, and the illness and death of my boyfriend.

Pictures